|
As we round the final lap of May, now might be a good time to notice the pace of life. It seems the days, weeks and months move at rapid speed. It is almost like we are attempting to qualify for a good position in the race we call “Life.” Finding affordable housing, purchasing a newer vehicle, getting that promotion at work, and by all means paying into our retirement all require our focused attention. Yep, that retirement looks mighty good when the pace of life is at warp speed. I used to think that “warp speed” naturally happened as one gets older; however, even young people are scratching their heads at how to meet all the demands of life; grading periods, exams, choosing a career, and, of course, the many decisions to be made about what to do after graduation. Whatever our age, it seems finding the time to simply sit still and breathe is a daunting task.
In today’s society the “next step” seems an endless reality. The pressure to get everything you want to do, accomplish, search for, and offer your family, seems an endless list. At this very moment, pause, take a few deep breaths and listen to your breath. Quiet your mind and see how long you can simply focus on your breathing. If you can do this without any thoughts for even five minutes you’re doing great. Silence is a very unappreciated gift. In the moments when you sit in perfect silence your head chatter begins. Just keep going back to your breath until the chatter slows down. It is amazing how the stress lessens when only silence can be “heard.” I recently watched an old movie, “The Last Samurai.” There was a powerful moment when an American soldier is attempting to learn a Samarian defense skill. After many attempts and getting struck by the large stick they were using, a Samarian warrior walks over to the American and simply states, “Too many minds.” How many of us have “Too many minds?” It is fair to say, most of us do. And when our head is full of what to do next; how to accomplish something, shuttling our kids somewhere, completing a task at work, and for heaven’s sake making certain we pick up a gallon of milk on our way home from work, it’s not surprising most of us are worn out by the time we walk through the front door. As we conclude May, consider the state of your mental health. Is there time to simply enjoy a conversation without a cellphone at your side, the sound of music or the TV blaring in the background and your head thinking about somebody or something? There are four major areas of life: Physical, Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual, or as some people are more comfortably saying, Reaching your full potential. Keeping those four areas in balance takes a solid understanding of them and the ability to daily do a “check-in” of each. Many people have asked me what I actually do. On a recent walk the answer came to me. “I have a Lemonade Stand.” I used to think of myself as a mathematician since I always take situations and reduce them to the simplest form. That has helped me set up a Lemonade Stand. When the fires of life present a situation that seems confusing, daunting, unclear, or befuddled, reach out. As human’s we need each other. Together, we can squeeze the “lemons” you are confronting, and with the assistance of your brilliant Head and beautiful Heart, make a wonderfully cool and refreshing glass of lemonade. The Flower Moon, May 23, heralds in the Clan Mother for June, “Storyteller,” who offers to help you learn how to “Speak the Truth.” It is the stories we tell ourselves about life, global and political events, and past experiences that shapes who we are at this moment. Consider noticing that beautiful moon and ask for assistance with carefully and honestly looking at the stories you have told yourself. If you would like to learn more about the four core areas of being human and ways to bring them into balance each day, consider signing up for the “Using the Mandala as a Compass to Find your True North.” Read more about it in our Community Events link. www.headtohearttalks.com While you’re at it check out the 13 Original Clan Mothers link and scroll down to Storyteller. Read the brief summary about her and answer the questions that follow. You just might find out something you “Didn’t know, you didn’t know!” Remember, life is not a Race, it's a steady, enjoyable, paced journey Enjoy the cool, refreshing Lemonade!
0 Comments
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood,” was the fifth habit in Stephen Covey’s bestselling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The last blog pointed out the importance of good listening skills to really get to know the Speaker. That same skill is required to begin developing a balanced, cooperative, loving relationships with yourself. What does that really mean? Do we need to read more books on understanding ourselves and others, learn the current “buzz word” used to identify different behaviors, take a psychology class, or use the modern method to learn . . . Google it? In my many years on this planet, I have discovered, the best way to learn is to ask your inner guidance. Some call that guidance, God, Creator, Divine Mother, Inner Wisdom, Buddha. Whatever word feels comfortable for you, use it! The world seems to be searching for the “perfect” word. Here’s a hint; it is found in your Heart.
As a person who has always searched for answers, I have used many methods to gain knowledge, to the point the search became the main focus. That is to say, all the information became a toolbox full of ideas, techniques, practices, and information that after a while required a bigger toolbox to hold them all. What am I saying? I’m saying all the wisdom we need is within ourselves. The bits and pieces we gather as we search for answers eventually leads us back to Heart. Each of us must discern what is true and not true for us, personally. If we truly want to understand others, we must start first with knowing ourselves. Once we have examined the beliefs we were given throughout our lives, we can then step back and take an honest look at whether that belief is still true for us at this moment in our lives. Life is forever evolving, and things that were important ten years ago may not be as important to you today. It may be time to pull out your toolbox, take a look inside and see what tools would be of assistance with getting to know the wise self that resides in your heart. You may rediscover a very useful tool you had forgotten about. If so, pull it out of your toolbox, clean it up and put it to use. Of course you may also discover there are tools you no longer need. If that’s the case, consider gifting those to someone you know who is searching. The last thing you need when doing an inner exploration of yourselves is heavy, unnecessary weight. The whole purpose of the search is to lighten the load of your Head information, to hear what your Heart desires to enlighten you about. Everything begins within, or as the old phrase goes, “Know thyself!” As the relationship between your human self and your divine heart deepens, the toolbox will become much smaller. Can you imagine how the world would change if we used the Toolbox of experience to strengthen our actions as a means to support our thoughts and words? My hunch is, we would be less critical and judgmental of others, and replace it with compassion and understanding for the journey we are all on. “The West: A place to listen to the voice of our Hearts.” The old woman in the woods Head to Heart Talks: Walking a Sacred Path The single most important skill to effective communication is Listening, which is more than just hearing someone speak. Words are mere sounds if the only ears used are on either side of your Head. The problem with only using those ears is the large object to which they are attached. That’s correct, that beautiful Head has a human brain that is filled with lots of “should/shouldn’t’s, good or bad, this or that, right or wrong human guidelines. The thinking process involved with processing information is extremely important, it helps us learn the ways of the world, how to get where we wish to go, what we need to learn, and how to keep things in a sense of order so we can arrive at our destination; whatever and wherever that may be. However, when it is attached to judging, criticizing, disserting, and, overanalyzing everything and everyone, including ourselves, problems arise, which leads to even more duality thinking. It is quite an exhausting cycle which rarely leads to good communication. Did you know your Heart has ears? That’s correct, your Heart hears and processes life experiences and as a result the Heart responses with emotions which are felt. In essence, the Head responds with “thinking,” the Heart responds with “feelings.” The Head wants to solve the problem, the Heart wants to feel peaceful. The only way to find a balance is to use both your Head and your Heart to maneuver your way through life. This takes a concerted effort since in this world we live in, we are taught to think our way through things. For the most part, that’s a gift; however, when it comes to emotional feelings, the Heart is the expert. You know where I’m going with this, both sets of ears, the Head and the Heart need to work in a unified way to achieve happiness and contentment in every aspect of your life. Relationships are needed to accomplish anything and everything in life. Whether it’s your parent, boss, teacher, sibling and the list goes on, to be truly successful in life requires successful relationships. Relationships develop over time and require a sense of mutual trust. This happens when each person feels truly “seen.” That is to say, each person feels acknowledged, treated with respect, their dreams supported, and sometimes even challenged to be all we can be. When those aspects are present each person knows the other person truly “hears” what he/she is saying. In Stephen Covey’s book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the fifth habit states: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Once we have taken the time to develop a cooperative, respectful relationship with our Head and Heart, we are ready to use the ears of our Heart to really listen to what the person speaking is trying to tell us about the situation. In other words, what are they “feeling” behind the story they are telling? All too often when we are in a conversation with someone our Head is thinking about how to respond, what could have happened, who they may be talking about, and then begins to put on their “Judge’s robe.” Often times the Listener may recall a similar situation they personally confronted and their Head ears take over. From the Listener’s perspective they may feel they are being supportive by sharing their personal experience when in reality, that is the moment communications become broken. The Listener may remain silent until the Speaker takes a pause, however, they are not hearing anymore of the Speaker’s Heart. In some cases, they may even interrupt the Speaker and tell their own story. This is Listening to your Heart’s story, and not the Speakers Heart. It takes Heart to Heart listening to deepen a relationship. The next time someone is sharing a story with you, turn on your Heart ears and listen to what their Heart may be feeling. It’s tricky, since our Head wants to rescue, fix, solve the problem, whatever remedy is needed. Just remember, all anyone’s Heart needs is to be heard. In essence, put your finger to you lips and tell your beautiful Head, Shhh, while your Heart listens. “Listening is the foremost rule that determines a person’s integrity and substance.” Listening Woman, the Clan Mother for May’s moon. The Deepening into Wisdom Circle, will be held Thursday, May 16 from 6:30-8:00 p.m. Join us for an evening of sharing stories. They may be personal stories, a story you recall, or one you made up. What is important is the gathering and sharing that offers us the opportunity to practice Storytelling, and using the ears of our Heart. For a listing of other events, go to the Community Events tab of our website and see if something stirs your heart. www.headtohearttalks.com Sunday, May 12 is Mother’s Day. Don’t forget to recognize the woman who brought you into this world, or who chose you to be their daughter or son. Which ever side of the coin she taught you, what you have done with that is the person you are today. As we enter the richness of May, the growth of all things birthed with spring abound. Colorful flowers, the fresh scent of earth, the sounds of various types of bird fill the air with the fullness of Life! Nature certainly is our best teacher for ways to live and trust the natural order of life. With our world being in such a state of chaos, each of us need to consider setting aside some time each day to just pause and observe the beauty outside our home or place of business. Fifteen minutes each day simply sitting on a porch swing or favorite outdoor chair offers us a time to really look at the trees, flowers, and critters that share our space with us. Even more enriching, place a comfortable blanket on the earth and gaze at the splendid display of the heavens above us. Sure, there are documentaries and programs specifically focused on nature and all her beauty; however, that requires sitting inside and observing such beauty through an electronic device. How about really going outside and experiencing the sights, smells, and sounds of nature?
“Peacefulness: Nature shows us how it looks, feels and smell.” From: “The Boomerang” Head to Heart Talks: Walking a Sacred Path In 1949 May was established as National Mental Health Awareness month. There could be no better way to strengthen our mental health then to really absorb the peacefulness and serenity nature offers. Why even a good rain storm can be invigorating. Oh, sure hot tubs are wonderful, just as a warm good shower feels rejuvenating; however, nature can touch our very soul in profound ways that words cannot even describe. All of our senses are heightened when we spend some time in nature. No doubt those of you with a dog can attest to the effects a good walk has on your faithful friend; yet consider how much you benefit from such outings. If you want to support good mental health for yourselves, your friends and your families, how about creating a daily routine for yourself to spend at least ten minutes each day among the natural world? Then ask one of your friends and/or family members to join you at least once a week on an excursion somewhere in nature. Even if it’s only ten minutes in your neighborhood or local park, create a routine, make an agreement and follow through. An important key to this is to “stick with it,” even if the other person doesn’t show up, do the activity. Keep the agreement for yourself, you will get the benefit regardless who is with you, then watch your mental dialogue change. I promise you will find less ruminating of worries and concerns IF you choose to let nature show you a thing or two about simplicity and trust. As we enter this month of richness, now might be a grand opportunity to teach the young ones in your life and/or neighborhood about planting, tending, and observing something that grows. I can think of no better way to teach responsibility and an appreciation for caring for something or someone outside themselves. Gather a plant pot or dig up a small patch of earth in your yard and teach them how to become “gardeners in life.” Who knows, you may just remember something your grandparents or elders in your community taught you when you were young. It’s one way to “Strengthen our Future” for the next seven generations! Listening Woman is the Clan Mother for May. She teaches us how to refine our “listening” skills by hitting the pause button before speaking. To understand the true Language of Love she teaches us how to develop our inner knowing. Body cues, expressions, and the gift of discernment are developed by observing and listening to the actions, not words, of others as well as ourselves. Read a bit more about this Teacher of discernment by clicking on the 13 Original Clan mother link and considering the questions to ask yourself. Our next blog will share suggestions for developing one of the most important communication skills: Listening. "It's about letting the "voice" of your heart speak," From: "Turned the Page" Head to Heart Talks: Walking a Sacred Path Check out our Events page for information and updates on ways to grow and strengthen as Sacred human beings |
Vicky Kelm WilliamsI find people absolutely fascinating! Archives
December 2024
|
RSS Feed
